Well folks, once again we have concrete proof that SlantyOD has wayyyy too much free time on his hands. I've decided that, much like Brunching's "The Ratings", I needed my own personal rating system so that I could grade everything that I see around me. James' Starcraft Post .. A-One I say, Beer theft .. sucks large boulders. But that just doesn't have the ring I'm looking for. So let me present to you my own personal rating system to be used as much as possible wherever possible by your's truly....
5 Stars!!!
We'll start off with the best, it just doesn't really make sense to do anything else. Let me ask you what you think the best, most eye-grabbing, hit-yourself-in-the-head-til-you-fall-down-thing you could ever imagine would be. How bout the holiest man alive, 500 feet high, rampaging through New York? Yup, that's right, 5 stars on the SlantyOD system gets you a 500 foot Pope award!!
Isn't he beautiful, rumbling through downtown New York? Good for him
4 Stars!!!
Well, now that we've got the best out of the way there's nowhere to go but down. Mind you, after that one it doesn't really have to be bad to be worse. So what else is super cool, high in Slantyness, party-on-til-the-break-of-dawn goodness? How about the Boba Fett in Your Basement Award!!!
All I can say is that would just kick ass!! I think the only thing that makes this worse that the 500 Foot Pope award is the thought, ever present, that the Fett may be after you...
3 Stars!!!
Ahhh, mediocrity's a beautiful thing. What is it, you ask, that's screams middle-of-the-road to you SlantyOD? Well, that's a tough question, being the highly opinionated person that i am makes it difficult to come up with something upon which I am indifferent. So I came up with something that just causes me great difficulties. Is it good? Is it bad? I just don't know... so I'll let you decide about the Warm Budweiser Beer Award!!
It's good cause it's beer.
But it's bad cause it's warm and it's Bud.
Ohhhh the eternal dichotomy!!
2 Stars!!!
What sucks big time? What object's sole purpose is to suck and nothing else? No, not a hooker (they're good for other things, just ask Dan), it's the Hoover Vacuum Suck Award!!
This award works on so many levels. First, it actually sucks, which is the "play on words" level, a metaphor for suckiness if you'll indulge me. Second, who likes vacuuming? Anal retentive freaks o' nature maybe but they suck too!! So many varied levels of sucking, this is perfect for the 2 star level.
1 Star!!!
What is worse that sucking on multiple levels you ask? I'll tell you this .. it'll require large amounts of resources, many men and women working in harmony, international conspiracies and more, all with one purpose in mind: to make my life miserable. What is this you ask? Does such a thing exist? Certainly my friends and compatriots, it exists in our very midst. Hence, I present to you the #&%$ing TD Award!! 
Worse than death, worse that anything, to be avoided at all costs yet insipid, constraining, inhibiting, evil. Yes that's right evil!!
???? Star!!!
Not sure how to rate something? Not even sure what the hell is going on? Maybe it's cool in Slovakia but how the hell are you gonna know. Those Azerbaijanies got some cool stuff but you don't know anything about it? For this ever so special case I give you the Hello Kitty Award!! 
Hello Kitty lives in London!!
Hello Kitty says "you can never have too many friends!"
Hello Kitty scares the piss out of me
Good for her!