I’ve been talking about the Modern Drunkard Magazine since 2003 (proof here). It delivers clear (and funny) advice for those of you who insist on wrecking their livers.

Personally, I can’t even hope to come close to the lofty goals they set (I’m a lightweight. Or a middleweight. Or maybe there’s some inbetween class made up by a boxing federation that best describes me, dunno.) But they sure are funny.

This issue they bring us tis the season to fall down drunk, tips for holiday drinking. For example, “Don’t worry if you hate wrapping presents, because your favorite store provides free gift wrapping. Just give the brown bag a little twist around the neck of the bottle and hey! All done!”

I’m going to the in-laws for a few days, so I may have to study the list.

Bonus: Andre the Giant, best drinker ever