the thing i like about fitzmas that is better than xmas is that not only does santa bring gifts of happy news to kids that have been good, but he also smites those who have been bad with grand jury indictments. multiple grand jury indictments: are there eight syllables in the english language that are sweeter?

hope you all have a merry fitzmas day! a better day than this guy anyway.

UPDATE: santa comes down the chimney at 2pm eastern time. everyone’s chimney. at the same time. yes, he’s that magical.