q & a on the us election
so, kerry has lost, unless it’s discovered that widespread election fraud took place. that’s the real hope in ohio, not provisional/absentee ballots. to help people understand how the hell bush could be reelected, i’ve written this short q&a:
q: why did kerry lose?
a: because the US is a right wing, fundamentalist christian nation. the evidence is in the results for the ballot measures for bans on same-sex marriage. all 11 states passed the bans with overwhelming majorities — majorities greater than the democratic-republican split. this tells you that many democrats voted for the measures, and even among these so-called liberals, their beliefs are informed by fundamentalist christian values.
q: so what’s the solution?
a: the only solution is to: 1) burn the united states to the ground, then to 2) salt the earth so that nothing will ever grow back.
q: but what about the war?
a: bush was successful because americans prefer war to peace.
q: what?
a: it’s true. the US is a fundamentalist christian nation (see question 1) and, as such, a supposed* war against another fundamentist religion resonates with their religious beliefs.
q: but christianity teaches love thy neighbour, etc.
a: only if you’re one of those long haired jesus liberal hippie christians. US christians are lightning bolt throwing, flood-sending, old testament god christians, angry christians on a crusade to smite their enemies.
q: what’s the solution?
a: burn the US, then salt it.
* supposed because in reality it’s about political and economic (oil) control over the middle east, but you knew that.
q: what about the youth vote? i thought the dems’ ground strategy would have resulted in massive youth turnout. instead, the turnout was exactly the same as in 2000.
a: youth didn’t vote or voted for bush because they are morons.
q: why are they morons?
a: because public education in the US is a travesty.
q: why is it a travesty?
a: because the right wing have gutted it in order to keep people uncritical and stupid.
q: what’s the outlook, then?
a: in this next term, bush will work to further entrench youth stupidity (and, vis-a-vis, republican supremecy) by taking even more money out of public education.
q: what can we do about it?
a: the only solution is to burn the united states to the ground, and then salt the earth so that nothing will ever grow back.
q: what’s the gay marriage ban about anyway?
a: the ban on gay marriage really isn’t about marriage. it’s a referendum on homosexuality. with bans on gay marriage in place, homophobia is now more socially acceptable, and further anti-gay legistlation will become easier to pass. in my opinion, some states will work to reintroduce anti-sodomy laws.
q: what can we do about it?
a: the solution, it seems, is the set fire the us, and then salt it so that nothing will grow back.
(updated)
q: come on. is us society really that backward?
a: yes. in alabama, a proposed amendment to remove (now unenforceable) language from the state’s constitution requiring segregated schools has failed by a narrow margin. opponents say that their opposition was based on the possibility that the amendment could have resulted in increased taxes to pay for improvements to poorly-performing public schools (in urban black areas, of course). that people are so opposed to public education that they would prefer to publically support racial segregation proves that they are not yet fully-evolved human beings.
q: so what should we do with alabama?
a: alabama must be doused with gasoline, lit on fire, and when the embers die down, it must be salted so that nothing can grow back.
15 comments Wednesday 03 Nov 2004 | Slanty3D | SlantyNet - General
CNN still hasn’t called it this am though. Looks like Ohio and Iowa are going to be confusing.
Lets pray for the lawyers, they’re our only hope now.
For four years I’ve listened to Slanty3d’s ravings and rantings and maintained my optimism about this country, but I must say that optimism is deeply, deeply shaken today. It took many martinis to keep me through last night, and I think I’m just going to have to remain drunk until I finish this dissertation and get out of here.
guys, i think it’s over. the blogosphere is shivering with rumors that kerry’s giving a concession speech this afternoon.
i don’t know what to say, i don’t think the full horror of it all has really sunk in yet.
CNN says the same regarding the concession speech…
to feel better, i’ve been listening to cbc. on morning edition they drew a comparison between new york and mos eisley (for non-star wars fans: obi-wan looking over a ramshackle desert community, saying “you’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany.” i love cbc.
In all fairness though, at least this time, GWB got the popular vote. Last time, I think it really felt like something underhanded happening in the state of Florida. This time, it seems that truly more people believe in Bush than in Kerry.
Oh well, another 4 years where Canada isn’t looked upon as the most hated country in the world….
has canada ever been the most hated country in the world?
I think we have been “most hated” by some Americans…..We’re too nice, we don’t have rioting in the streets (unless our hockey team looses, and that was many years ago and we’ve learned from our mistakes), we have universal healthcare and other social services, and we’re waaaaaay to liberal, in their minds, about homeland security, lax laws on pot, and the fact that the state has stepped out of our bedrooms….
Darn, it’s tough being so good! =)
Man, no hockey and Dubya wins the election. This year SUCKS.
Just goes to show that a COMPLETE IDIOT can become a world leader.
One State in the Americas had a little bit more forward thinking then Canada though in one aspect. On their ballot they actually had if they should make marijuana legal.
Unfortunantly the initiative lost, but only by a couple percent of the voters. Man would it have been a poke in Canadians face if a State had actually legalized pot before a Province had…
Hehehe…also woulda given a whole different meaning to going on an Alaskan cruise.
It was legal in Alaska a few years ago, it was made illegal sometime in the 90′s I think.
[...] imagination. watch for me on the six o’clock news. 24601 points out: More talk on burning things to the ground and salting the earth. That’s right, we use t [...]