Just like how I feel.

To be more accurate, I don’t feel nothing. I feel a little sadness, a little resignation. And a lot of not knowing exactly how I should feel.

Thats what happens when you know somebody is almost ready to take their leave of this world and enter the next. Wife’s away right now, visiting her grandmother, maybe for the last time.

Its not a sudden illness, its not a surprise. I’ve had lots of time to compose my thoughts, but thats never really enough is it? I’ve just got the cliched mix of relief and regret that seems to accompany a drawn-out illness in old-age.

Thinking of old-age, I’ve had Johnny Cash’s Hurt going through my mind again. How young and vital he looks in some of the earlier footage compared to what he had become.

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end